Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Here are some handy Latin phrases for you all ....
Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!
God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
(At a barbeque)
Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?
Sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
If you can read this you're over-educated
Vidi Vici Veni
I saw, I conquered, I came
Vacca foeda
Stupid cow
Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.
Raptus regaliter
Royally screwed
Gramen artificiosum odi.
I hate Astroturf.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.
Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.
Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!
Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio.
Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.
Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant!
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
Radix lecti
Couch potato
Quo signo nata es?
What's your sign?
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Mellita, domi adsum.
Honey, I'm home.
Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.
I am as dead as the nehru jacket.
Ventis secundis, tene cursum.
Go with the flow.
Totum dependeat.
Let it all hang out.
Te precor dulcissime supplex!
Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Magister Mundi sum!
I am the Master of the Universe!
Fac me cocleario vomere!
Gag me with a spoon!
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Prehende uxorem meam, sis!
Take my wife, please!
Nihil est--in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.
Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.
Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
Let's all wear mood rings!
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
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10. "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
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13. "My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
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"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
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Monday, April 12, 2010
Here is a totally random and bizarre finding for you. If you have a spare few minutes ... check it out:
www.nobodyhere.com
(click on the buttons)
if, your Husband was being delightful, cooking you some breakfast on a Sunday morning while you were still sound asleep. And then, if he got a little bit fry pan happy and set off the smoke alarm. And then .. if the smoke alarm did not wake you up at all?
Would you be worried?
I am to scared to go to sleep. Stupid smoke alarms and their false sense of security.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I have absolutely no interest in any sport. Nill. And I feel like a real looser because of it.
I can remember being tormented in Primary School when we would have to go and play T-ball. I could never hit the ball. I hated standing on those bases for what felt like hours on end. Cricket was also equally revolting. Don't even get me started on Cross Country Days (which we just running around the entire school grounds 50 times).
There is just nothing in my genetic profile that has anything to do with sports.
Every single person I know (although, surprisingly not including my Mum and Dad) gets excited to some degree, about a sport. Events are planned, festivities at someone's house with beers and cable, nights at the pub etc. What ever the venue - fun is expected.
Try and try as I might, I can't get in to it. I ask my friends questions. I have intently sat in front of the TV watching some form of ball throwing or kicking - nothing.
I don't even understand what the difference is between the NFL and the ALF? I don't understand what Sydney footy clubs have a location name and an animal name? It only confused me more when people refer to their club as a location or animal? Manly? Sea Eagles? What? Who?
I want to be part of the sporting community. I want to get excited about it. I want to go to the local pub / club and scream at the big screen TV with everyone else. I want to go to the cool 'some random team is playing some other random team' sports shin digs.
I also don't like beer. I hear that beer and sports go hand in hand. Although, I am a girl - so maybe I can get a pass on the beer drinking.
Help?
I know, I know - I am only feeding the self serving beast that is Gweneth Paltro's GOOP - by reading it.
It's one thing to blog and share your life. It's another thing to carry on like a snotty, full of her self celebrity - who is trying to teach her peasants how to be enlightened like, said celebrity.
She is trying to brand herself. It's not going well. Although some love her Goopy site, I - on the other hand, do not. I just like to laugh at it and her.
Here is an inspired question from Queen GOOP ...
"Question:
Relationships with our parents are notoriously difficult. When we children grow into adults, year after year, the same buttons still get pushed, the same grudges resurface. After years of repeatedly dealing with the same hang-ups, and for some, years of therapy, why is it so hard to accept our parents for who they are? What can we do to be better children to our parents?”
Notoriously difficult?? Really Goopy? In a previously newsletter you informed us of how wonderful your childhood was and how you loved nothing more than story time with your Mum each night. Gee - sounds tough.
This question serves as direct evidence that Goopy is trying to dumb down to all of us trailer park trash, as she has such a charmed life and childhood. She is reaching. Really reaching.
Is Goop claiming that delightful childhood story times have led her to years of therapy? As a result, story time has left her unable to accept her parents as they are?
I think not. I think Queen Goop is full of it. She bugs the hell out of me in a cringe worthy way. I wonder how many people actually follow her for credible reasons (unlike my, 'shut up you cow!' way).
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